Check if their Secret ID match with yours, and i suggest you fill in the hidden hex values.
Shiftry has been received from Daycare Couple, so 44h should be D0, and 45h should be 07. It also hatched at Route 210, so 46h = 19 and 47h = 00.
Milotic was also received from the Daycare, so 44h and 45h are the same as above. It hatched in Mt. Coronet, so 46h = 32, and 47h = 00.
Aside from these, I don't see anything illegal in your pkmn, but I heard somewhere that each PBR save file works with only one Diamond/Pearl save file.