Life Lesson (Dad Vs Son Conflict)

[Zafur]

You and I were obviously raised under different standards, Zafur. I was brought up to always respect my parents, no matter what the situation. Obedience and submission were key in my upbringing.

I'm not sure if that's true or not, it's likely my parents think similarly.

I, however, hate when you're forced into obedience and submission. You should be able to speak up for yourself and defend your own opinions and not have to back down just because they're your parents and "they say so". This isn't a neoNazi country, you should have the right. If anything, you should be like a trained and loyal dog, eager to please out of earned and deserved loyalty and "love". Not a broken horse forced into it. This is because I agree with Lady Aquarii's statement. Respect should be earned. Who the person is, is usually irrelevant.

I think it's that you're not sure what I meant by losing respect. Just because I lost respect for someone doesn't mean I'll act like a melodramatic teenager and try to make the person's life Hell or anything. I'll still act like a mature, civilized person.

(Reply is cut a bit short due to me having to leave right now. I might expand on it when I get back.)

[pokemonfan]

I wish I would have gotten to this thread sooner.

Rinky, remember that no matter how bad the situation gets, your dad is still your father, and you have to obey his rules and respect him.

It does sounds like psychological abuse...you're treading shallow water here. Stay on your guard, be careful, and if it gets any worse, tell a teacher or school counselor or your principal. Those are the easiest options towards getting some help. Don't be afraid to get help, either.

I totally agree! God says to respect your parents even if they are doing the incorrect things. Remember, you are accountable to your parents and God. Your parents, are accountable to God and they will get judgement when time serves them. You must respect your parents and obey them although it may seem wrong at some points.

You and I were obviously raised under different standards, Zafur. I was brought up to always respect my parents, no matter what the situation. Obedience and submission were key in my upbringing.

Once again I agree! Although your parents are not always correct and sometimes not always looking out for you respect is key. Maybe they will learn by example. I dont have this problem with my parents and I know that they are constantly trying to give me the best they possibly can. That is how I was raised too. Listening and obedience is key, although in this case I'm not sure about the obedience.

I'm not sure if that's true or not, it's likely my parents think similarly.

I, however, hate when you're forced into obedience and submission. You should be able to speak up for yourself and defend your own opinions and not have to back down just because they're your parents and "they say so". This isn't a neoNazi country, you should have the right. If anything, you should be like a trained and loyal dog, eager to please out of earned and deserved loyalty and "love". Not a broken horse forced into it. This is because I agree with Lady Aquarii's statement. Respect should be earned. Who the person is, is usually irrelevant.

I think it's that you're not sure what I meant by losing respect. Just because I lost respect for someone doesn't mean I'll act like a melodramatic teenager and try to make the person's life Hell or anything. I'll still act like a mature, civilized person.

(Reply is cut a bit short due to me having to leave right now. I might expand on it when I get back.)

Zafur, dont you see? That is how kids end up ruining their life. They constantly want freedom. Freedom is all they want they crave it and hunger for it and their parents wont give it to them. So A. They learn to respect parents and wait patiently for adulthood B. They end up killing themselves C. They end up killing parents and self. D. They disobey completely and eventually destroy their lives with drugs and alcohol. E they could even get involved in a gang and get killed or die of drunk driving. Did you see that most of those scenarios were hazardous to health. I'm not saying that it happens all the time I'm just listing possibilities. It is good to be civilized and it is ok to want freedom, however what is wrong is the ways you use to obtain freedom. Intentional disregard for rules to get freedom is horrible but gaining respect from your authorities and elders who then in turn give you some freedom to do___ that you could not do before is the correct way. However, if you just cant wait for it and rush out of the house at 18 and never look back 1. you will destroy your family relationship 2. You will crush your parents 3. You are more likely to do drugs later on in my opinion. Freedom has his pros and cons but for now as kids (i'm pretty sure rinky is one) the gist of freedom problems is how we get it. We still have to listen and obey are parents I'm not exactly sure what you were getting at Zarfur.

[Destati]

please leave your religion out of this pokemonfan. This is an issue regarding a family situation, not one's spirituality.

[pokemonfan]

I'll do my best then Destati. However, doesn't religion come into play when it comes to someone's actions and morals on how to handle things?

[Zafur]

Yeah um. I don't mind if you mention religion but I think you went too into it, especially for something that doesn't have to do with religion in the first place.

And no. Are you not familiar with Atheism and various philosophies?

Full reply coming soon... Still typing it.

___________________________________

Reply:

Look, you're taking this way too wrongly. WHERE are you getting all this? I'm going to try and clear up some things I think weren't properly explained.

"Zafur, dont you see? That is how kids end up ruining their life. They constantly want freedom. Freedom is all they want they crave it and hunger for it and their parents wont give it to them. So A. They learn to respect parents and wait patiently for adulthood B. They end up killing themselves C. They end up killing parents and self. D. They disobey completely and eventually destroy their lives with drugs and alcohol. E they could even get involved in a gang and get killed or die of drunk driving. Did you see that most of those scenarios were hazardous to health. I'm not saying that it happens all the time I'm just listing possibilities."

I'm talking about RESPECT one has for someone else. The only reason why most of these scenarios are bad is because you're jumping to such negative and off base conclusions. In fact, I'm not sure why you're basing most of this on freedom. I don't even "crave and hunger" for it myself. You're talking to one of the most laid back human offspring I've seen. I barely ask for the most common teenager liberties, such as hanging with friends.

Is this the reason why you focused on teens wanting too much freedom?

"You should be able to speak up for yourself and defend your own opinions and not have to back down just because they're your parents and "they say so"."

Honestly, if you're seeing this as wanting "too much freedom"... I don't know. I believe this is the most basic amount of freedom you can give a person. If your parents say the sky is green and the grass is pink, you're going to back down and take it? If your sibling did something and blamed it on you, and you have enough proof that it wasn't you, you're going to not explain yourself and try to make them see that they're wrong? These are liberties I give people that I don't even respect myself. Even criminals get the chance to explain themselves. In fact, I don't see how wanting something as basic as this will make a person want to commit suicide, unless their parents were particularly abusive.

"It is good to be civilized and it is ok to want freedom, however what is wrong is the ways you use to obtain freedom. Intentional disregard for rules to get freedom is horrible but gaining respect from your authorities and elders who then in turn give you some freedom to do___ that you could not do before is the correct way."

Where are you getting this idea that I believe people should intentionally disregard rules from? You're SO offbase.

Yes, I believe that you should work to gain things you want. It's how life works. However, I'm under the belief that everyone should be given a basic level of respect, and that level grows or diminishes based on how the person behaves. I'm not saying to completely have no respect at all for someone just because you "don't like" them. No need to act childish, now.

"However, if you just cant wait for it and rush out of the house at 18 and never look back 1. you will destroy your family relationship 2. You will crush your parents 3. You are more likely to do drugs later on in my opinion. Freedom has his pros and cons but for now as kids (i'm pretty sure rinky is one) the gist of freedom problems is how we get it. We still have to listen and obey are parents I'm not exactly sure what you were getting at Zarfur."

What's your obsession with drugs? Lol. Might be true if said teen was stupid enough to not work out the situation instead and later regretted it. If they truly felt like it was right, though, then I believe they should be happy, if they manage to make it by themselves.

Of course we have to listen to parents. Our parents just need to return the favour.

When I said:

"Also, if someone was acting like that to me, I wouldn't have enough respect for them to "obey" them."

There is a reason I put quotation marks around obey. I don't mean I was going to say "And why should I listen to you?" every time that person asks something of me. I specifically mentioned after I was still going to remain civil with them. I was referring to the amount of obedience and submissiveness the guy's father demands of him. The basic things you should be doing, like chores, yeah, I'd still do them. I wouldn't be doing his every will and whim, though. This guy is obviously getting a power high off of his son. He's completely using him and probably also abusing him mentally. If I was abused and used like that, I'd lose respect for whoever the person was. How much I lose correlates with how badly they were treating me. I have the belief that you should always try to talk it out completely. If that fails, then I lose respect. Sometimes I think a bit less of a person if I have to talk it out with someone, and I think I shouldn't even need to, but I usually get over that rather quickly.

[Okami]

In defending PF, I agree. God does say to respect and obey one's parents. I was not brought up to believe this (We were the kind of people to go to church on Christmas and Easter...if that) but I have learned it through growing up and experiencing life.

To emphasize, please see Ephesians 6:1-4 about children and parents; how a child is to obey, but how a father is not to provoke anger within a child.

But that's as far as I will go, because I don't want this to become a large debate.

Obedience and respect should not be automatic, they should be earned.

And I agree, but perhaps it could also be turned around?

By saying things about the father behind his back or even to his face is disrespect. (Like, 'and so I told him he was gay and like anal.') How can you expect to gain respect from a parent if you're being disrespectful right back?

As for me, I am Switzerland in this matter. I have expressed my views.

I personally believe a child should have a certain amount of fear in their parents, they ARE the boss. Remember that back just a couple hundred years ago in America, children were property of their fathers....*sighs*

We've come a long way. The fact that your father treats you like a slave in doing these tasks is cruel and unusual punishment. There's only so much one can take. If it gets worse, get CPS involved.

Being respectful and obedient does not always mean to bow down and meet their every want, but just always holding that loyalty and love. No matter what....a parent is a parent. They raised you, so you should honor that they at least tried.

[Destati]

pokemonfan, mentioning Jesus is ok. Even non-Christian/Catholic people can agree that not only was he a philosopher but that the morals he taught would make the world a better place if we all followed them.

But its stuff outside of that which can annoy people like me. I'm Buddhist, but I believe Jesus existed. I also believe Moses and Muhammed existed and that they all spread their morals.

Basically, there's a difference between a moral and a 2000 year old book that people still debate over to this day.

[Okami]

Basically, everything in this entire thread has become an issue of respect, not only between Rinky and his father and his family, but also between us members of the PP Forum and so forth. We need to be respecting of others' beliefs and such, while also trying to help Rinky in his situation, which will generally involve our own experiences and beliefs to help resolve the problem. Therefore, it's an endless cycle of respect here. But we need to draw the line.

Please, no debates over who is right and who is wrong. We've all got our upsides and downsides, right? I'm sure we can all see this.

Again, respect.

[Destati]

yeah, I won't say anything else. If Pokemonfan wants to make a rebuttal go ahead. I won't dwell on it anymore.

[pokemonfan]

Ok then, um that would be a thanks okami for ending it there. I'm not sure if it was what should've been done but I guess it needed to be done otherwise this could go on and on. I think what needed to be said in terms of unbiased (meaning nonreligious) help for rinky has been said. I dont know if there is anymore we can offer him without him giving us more to work with. Dont get me wrong. I'm not going to shut up about what I believe still needs to be said. My mouth is just temporarily closed. Thanks for not dwelling on it Destati I really hate arguing. I just get carried away in debates sometimes.

[Zafur]

There was no arguing done. :3 I also get carried away in debates sometimes lol.

But yeah, I think we kinda derailed his thread, not that we've been getting any updates yet.

[darklord]

ok i really wanted to put this in the last post it is a new expression

if all else fails buy a larger shovel

[rinky]

Updates are good.

I just told my mom that I was invited to an MLG tournament and she said she will buy me one today when she gets paid, but I can only play it when my dad leaves, which is never.

So I'm at my GFs house playing it.

[pokemonfan]

I guess that works on some terms.

[Lady Aquarii]

To quote Sheryl Crow: "Every day is a winding road." Take what you can Rinky, and try to twist on the road with out falling off :3 It seems you've made a wonderful start :3~<3

[Sat_Fool]

Hello Rinky.

First, I don't know the whole family situation. I don't know your age other than you are under 18 (possibly in Grade 10). The dynamics of a family are very complicated. In this day and age, families are in major stress factors. Money is tight and in some cases, families are on the verge of losing everything. People are afraid of losing their jobs. I read today about a family that had to move into a mission and could only take the things that they could carry. One child had said to the reporter that he had to throw most of his toys into the garbage.

I say this as a parent of two children and having gone through the loss of a job and business years ago. The pressure of losing a home and more is very hard to deal with. I say this as a man that felt frustrated and embarrassed about not being able to support my family even though my wife had a good job and made enough money to support our family. Afraid to ask for help and afraid to talk to my wife about the problems and how I was feeling. I do not believe in God or any religion.

I am no expert and there are no black and white answers. It is like a game and you have to get through the mine field to get the prize. There are many ways through and each one gives you a different level of experience points. Heck that is what life is like growing up and being an adult.

You state that your father doesn't work. If he lost his job in the past few months he will be feeling the stress. Depending on how he was raised, he could be ripped apart inside. He may be feeling that he has let his family down and cannot support them. He will be feeling useless and worthless. He will also be drinking to dull or lessen the pain. It is called self medication for psychological stress. Search the details on this.

From the response you say he gave you about calling him gay, tells me even more that he is depressed.

Now the life lessons are a way of dealing with all the stress without taking it out on his whole family. He may have been brought up that women are weaker and cannot handle stress. He may be taking out all his frustration on you, the only other male in the family. He may be trying to get you ready for something worse than what your family is experiencing now hoping you are stronger. He may be getting you ready to take care of the family.

With his fear (?) of technology, he sound like he came from an old school family. No love shown between the males in the family. Heck, maybe even between the husband and wife outside the bedroom. Very uptight about many things in life.

I do agree with others that he is being abusive. He may of had an abusive father that treated him the same way or worse. I did.

Many families have the father issue punishment. I was raised that way and it seems to be the same in my family from time to time.

Your grades are pretty good but your father/mother want them better. Better grades open up more doors. Scholarships are a big financial saviour for many wanting to continue in school. Maybe your parents are trying to get your grades to this level. It could just be an excuse to vent out the frustration. Working ahead has led to believe that you are much more capable than your grades are showing. It is hard to work ahead, especially when the home is full of stress. Let your parents know this and that the stress can bring down your grades.

How to deal with it.

You seem to have a good relationship with your mother. Show your maturity and talk to her. Get the full story. Try to talk about how the real family situation is going. Find out the facts about her job and the family financial situation. Get the history of your fathers drinking and job situation.

The risk of losing the house could be a possibility in this financial mess. If you know the truth about the problems, it may lead to a solution to help fix the problem. Most USA families were in a situation that if one member loses their job, the family would have a hard time meeting their financial obligations. Your family could be one of these families.

Don't press your father because you could push him past the breaking point. Avoidance could be just as bad as fighting. If he feels that there is no way he can get any lower, then he could do something even worse than he already has. Depression is hard to figure out.

If your family is in a financial situation, try doing something to help out. If you work (And I assume you do), try to buy a bag of groceries or a special treat for the whole family. Pay a bill like the cable or utilities.

If your family isn't in a financial situation, then you have a bigger problem on your hands. You will have to open a line of communication with your father. Hopefully with your mothers help.

As a father and I can be pretty strict from time to time. If you did some of the things in this thread and I caught you, you would learn a very big life lesson. If you picked the lock on your Xbox, I would make you destroy it with a sledge hammer.

I have taken the door off my kids rooms for slamming them.

I will say it again. Most say your father is evil and that drink is causing the problem. I say that the problem is causing your father to drink which is making it worse. From what you have said, I would say that he is clinically depressed and needs help.

As for limits playing video games? I understand that. There are so many things to do than play games. And teenagers need more sleep than adults or young children. Their minds are changing at a massive rate. This change requires about 12 hours sleep a night. I limit my children's TV and game play as well as bed times. Even in the summer.

But I still bought both of them CylcoDS's.

Please keep us posted.

[Zafur]

Hmm. I can't figure out if I think you're too strict or not. It depends on the situation.

Just wondering, but you sound like you'd even limit the time your offspring read if they were the type that read all day, every day, even though most parents would be grateful for this behaviour. What would you rather them do when you tell them they're done with gaming? Do you just think too much TV and games are bad, or is it you prefer them doing a variety of activities?

Sorry, just curious.

But yes, to keep on topic, I'd like more updates. Sat_Fool brought up some interesting points...

[Okami]

Sat indeed brings up many good points. Depression does sound like a factor here. I should have recognized it. It also helps to explain the psychological problems, as depression is very very much involved in psych. Drinking, as Sat said, worsens this immensely.

Waiting for updates. Take it slowly, Rinky.

[Sat_Fool]

Hmm. I can't figure out if I think you're too strict or not. It depends on the situation.

Just wondering, but you sound like you'd even limit the time your offspring read if they were the type that read all day, every day, even though most parents would be grateful for this behaviour. What would you rather them do when you tell them they're done with gaming? Do you just think too much TV and games are bad, or is it you prefer them doing a variety of activities?

Sorry, just curious.

But yes, to keep on topic, I'd like more updates. Sat_Fool brought up some interesting points...

If they were reading only comic books, then it would be different than reading "1, 2, 3, infinity" (Search for it on Amazon). When my son was learning to read, having him read various pokedex books was great. He would spend hours reading.

He needs exercise to help him keep his weight down, just like dear old dad. He does participate in sports every week and almost every day.

Everything has to come in moderation and my kids have to learn that there are things you have to do because that is the way the world is. They need to know this before they start high school. If they learn it young, it makes it easier throughout life. When kids reach puberty, their body and mind go through major changes. This is the wrong time to start trying to teach them to do things differently. They already think they know it all.

I hate parents that think that the school system is supposed to teach our children how to behave and how to be good citizens. That is a responsibility for the home. The problem in today's society is as parents, we are so greedy that we forget to think about time with our kids. We need new and better toys which all require more and more work.

In our house we have one TV so all video games, TV programs are on that TV. We do have a portable DVD player that gets used from time to time.

We have a rule that to watch TV, you have to watch some educational TV before. Discovery Channel or something similar. It is good to learn something every day.

I look at the mistakes my parents made and the mistakes I read about in the news everyday and learn from that. My wife and I talk about these things every day. I have modified my work schedule to pick up my kids from school every day and take them to their after school functions which are their choices. The only things they have to take is swimming. It has cost me in some ways but in happiness, it is worth every cent.

[Concorde105]

Whoa... OK guys, this is WAY to philosophical for a kid like me, I'm gonna go hang out on another thread. But anyways, rinky, I do hope you get this problem solved, and like many said, Don't be afraid to get help from a trusted adult! They can help you. Seriously, this can be considered child abuse. They can help you come up with ideas for working this out, and they are pretty smart when it comes to these things, so don't be afraid to try what they say. And, I agree, when he is drunk, he might be pretty dangerous. :eek: So, uhh... Yeah, bye.

P.S. I really the the full WYSIWYG text editor. It's fun to use. Off topic, I know. Bye.

Concorde105 out.

[Sir Xero]

Hm...

Also, if you got that C in advanced Algebra... it is understandable. I personally have no problem with math (and you might not either), but most people sometimes screw up in Math... and it's thier worst class, so it is understandable to get a lower grade.

But, like i said... i don't know if your forte' is math...

[Zafur]

If they were reading only comic books, then it would be different than reading "1, 2, 3, infinity" (Search for it on Amazon). When my son was learning to read, having him read various pokedex books was great. He would spend hours reading.

He needs exercise to help him keep his weight down, just like dear old dad. He does participate in sports every week and almost every day.

Everything has to come in moderation and my kids have to learn that there are things you have to do because that is the way the world is. They need to know this before they start high school. If they learn it young, it makes it easier throughout life. When kids reach puberty, their body and mind go through major changes. This is the wrong time to start trying to teach them to do things differently. They already think they know it all.

I hate parents that think that the school system is supposed to teach our children how to behave and how to be good citizens. That is a responsibility for the home. The problem in today's society is as parents, we are so greedy that we forget to think about time with our kids. We need new and better toys which all require more and more work.

In our house we have one TV so all video games, TV programs are on that TV. We do have a portable DVD player that gets used from time to time.

We have a rule that to watch TV, you have to watch some educational TV before. Discovery Channel or something similar. It is good to learn something every day.

I look at the mistakes my parents made and the mistakes I read about in the news everyday and learn from that. My wife and I talk about these things every day. I have modified my work schedule to pick up my kids from school every day and take them to their after school functions which are their choices. The only things they have to take is swimming. It has cost me in some ways but in happiness, it is worth every cent.

This book seems interesting. I'm bad at math but... Hmm.

As long as you know to encourage "educational" books, or ones that encourage good vocabularies. My mother is sad that I read less books now, and doesn't accept me reading on the internet. Like reading some tween vampire book is going to teach me more than looking up Quantum Physics online... Some parents let their kids read whatever, thinking it'll all be good. At most it increases the child's ability to speed read, or maybe even to recognize how to properly write sentences better, but it might just as bad as watching mindless TV.

Edit: Although, this might just be me blinded from the benefits of books. This is coming from the mouth of a total bookworm that scored in 96 percentile in the nation in the Reading Comprehension section of Terra Nova tests. Since I've been into books since I learned how to read, I wouldn't be able to notice a difference in scoring.

I can see why you'd try to encourage more active activities if he has a weight problem. I'm not a sports person but as long as he enjoys it. :3 I agree with you preparing your kids for the future and everything in moderation... But I have to wonder how much puberty really affects kids. I don't think I ever had that "know it all" attitude, but I certainly stood up for myself more. I've always been shy so I was practicing defending myself, my actions, and opinions... And that's when I found out how some adults try to be so controlling, as if they can't possibly be wrong with a younger person half their age correcting them. Sickening.

I absolutely agree with your statement about parents who don't raise their own kids. This only causes problematic children... I really don't see why people would even have kids when they know they're not going to attempt to take care of them properly... I'm not a kid person, but parent-child bonding is very important for them to grow up correctly.

Also, I'm a bit confused by this sentence?

"We need new and better toys which all require more and more work."

Bwaha. This makes me feel über geek. I'm the only kid who watched the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet by my own will? Do you force this because they wouldn't otherwise, or are you just making sure that they're going to be introduced to the educational aspects?

It's good to make some things work around your kids... Part of being a parent. I agree with forcing them to learn how to swim. Do you do anything about self defense? Might be good for your son.

I'm not planning on kids, but it's nice to see inside the mind of a parent.

[wraith89]

Everything has to come in moderation and my kids have to learn that there are things you have to do because that is the way the world is. They need to know this before they start high school. If they learn it young, it makes it easier throughout life. When kids reach puberty, their body and mind go through major changes. This is the wrong time to start trying to teach them to do things differently. They already think they know it all.

I hate parents that think that the school system is supposed to teach our children how to behave and how to be good citizens. That is a responsibility for the home. The problem in today's society is as parents, we are so greedy that we forget to think about time with our kids. We need new and better toys which all require more and more work.

In our house we have one TV so all video games, TV programs are on that TV. We do have a portable DVD player that gets used from time to time.

We have a rule that to watch TV, you have to watch some educational TV before. Discovery Channel or something similar. It is good to learn something every day.

I look at the mistakes my parents made and the mistakes I read about in the news everyday and learn from that. My wife and I talk about these things every day. I have modified my work schedule to pick up my kids from school every day and take them to their after school functions which are their choices. The only things they have to take is swimming. It has cost me in some ways but in happiness, it is worth every cent.

Quoted for truth.

The thing is, I cannot stand public schools anymore (they're called state schools in Europe, public schools in Europe are equal to private schools in America). I've realized after 12 years of teaching us... they were really indoctrinating us to "do as you will", a philosophy taught by the Satanist Aleister Crowley. I personally do NOT believe in that. I honestly learned more from my parents throughout my entire life than anyone else, and I was taught to respect my parents no matter what the situation was. However, there was always that time when I was angry at them and never understood why they made such decisions for me... but I realized they only wanted what was best for me, just as God would. If I ever become a parent (which I doubt because I cannot see anyone worthwhile in this world to have a commitment with forever, but only time will tell), I would really like to homeschool my child or something. I'm sick of all these moral relativism stuff and other lies being taught and literally shoved into children's heads without giving them a time to think. I have to try and set them in the right path... so at least they'll know how to set apart right from wrong. And you wonder why children are becoming delinquent more often than before...

That's not to say parents are perfect. I've seen and heard of very negligent parents nowadays. I've seen some even go to the movie theaters to watch a R rated film and bring their kid along... and that kid is so confused and all while the parents say "Oh, it's just blah blah blah"... An R rated film... seriously? Not for children. Ever. There was also an article where two Korean parents went to the Internet Cafe (those Internet games are very popular in Korea, trust me, I KNOW... Starcraft games and advertisements are on TV everyday) to play WoW (World of Warcraft)... leaving their 2 year old baby girl behind at home. They come back... and she died of hunger. I really cannot believe this. Parents need to take on their traditional roles as the educator, protector, and provider of their children... starting straight from their child's birth date. They shouldn't depend on the public school system to do everything for their children... that's their number 1 mistake! Once their children becomes of age (around age 20, mind you... just because they wear high heels and "look adult" at age 13 doesn't mean they're grown up) that is when they are let go... but hopefully they'll know how to discern right from wrong... even if they do wrong, they'll know they have done wrong. I think childrens' problems is that they're not given enough time to think but they are taught stuff and to never question it (seeing how this is all strategically taught in public schools during their most vulnerable age, there's no wonder culture seems so backwards nowadays). I'm glad for my parents... or else I would have become a mess.

I have it even more strict when it comes to grades. As a member of a stereotypical Asian family, I'm always expected to get good grades (good grades meaning A's)... and getting B's were somewhat frowned upon. I was brought up in a competitive environment... and truthfully I started hating it. It was really hard on me... and being "subpar" made me feel bad because many people I knew were doing better than I did academically.

I'm sorry for going off-topic, but I just had to let it out. Rinky, I know it's a little late, but I've just read your story... and the funny thing is, it reminded me of my childhood... where my parents wouldn't let me play games to improve my grades or something. If it feels so bad for you, just remember... everything happens for a reason. Perhaps you'll learn from it. And please keep us updated on how it's been... and despite your hardcomings, remember to honor your parents... they deserve it for keeping you alive for this long (and not aborting you!). As for the alcohol thing... alcohol is a depressant, so maybe your father is depressed? I'll look more into that... I don't know what to say about the blatant favoritism of your sister though. I'll look into that too. But get some help if you need it... you WILL need it during tough times.

[Zafur]

I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired and about to go to bed, but that abortion comment is oddly hilarious. It sticks out so badly and was so random...;; I'm sorry.

Note: I'm not saying abortion itself is hilarious.

[wraith89]

I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired and about to go to bed, but that abortion comment is oddly hilarious. It sticks out so badly and was so random...;; I'm sorry.

Note: I'm not saying abortion itself is hilarious.

I'm against abortion over 9000%... but I just had to say it. It sticks out like a sore thumb? It doesn't for me... but maybe because I was the one who wrote it...