Life Lesson (Dad Vs Son Conflict)

[pennypenny123]

I like what pokemonfan said about the letter. Say something like its unfair or something like "I know you don't see a problem with this but here is what I think about all of this...". I don't know that's all I came up with.

[rinky]

Yeah, my mom is always listening to what I say. every time I say something to him I tell her.

[pennypenny123]

Well at least your mom knows about this...

[pokemonfan]

What does she do/say/react. How does she handle the situation. Is she helping at all? What about your sister. How does she deal with all of this or is she to young?

[rinky]

my sister can get away with murdering me and my dad will say I committed suicide.

Him and my sister are like a tag team out to get me. and ruin my life.

My mom doesn't do anything because she normally works all day, my dad doesn't have a job so all I suspect he does is plan all day while i'm at school to ruin my life.

[Lady Aquarii]

It's mental abuse. That's exactly what it is. I've lived with it all my life and I can read it like a book.

There is no life lesson, he just wants to see you tortured. He knows for a damn well fact you can't dig it up on your own and he knows how far down it goes. I bet he checked. He wants you to do it so that you'll do exactly as he says to get to the Xbox. He finds pleasure in your subservience and your pain.

Don't do it. Don't dig up the tree, don't even ask about the tree. Pretend it doesn't exist. Just ignore the fact that you have an Xbox and it'll drive him insane. Not giving him what he wants will give him a taste of his own medicine.

Truthfully sweetie, not only does this man seem to be a technophobe, but a domineering asshole. It also seems that your sister is his favorite. It happens with EVERY parent. He's probably torturing you because your a male like him so he's using you as an outlet of what he thinks he deserves or what punishment he got from your grandfather (just a theory, it's a generational thing). The fact that your mother is subservient to your father proves this. He's probably ether violent or mentally aggressive over her.

Tell someone about it. This should not go on any longer. This is legally unallowed and punishable by court of law. I'm serious. Find a teacher or another adult you can trust wholly and get them to take action about this. Everything in this thread is solid grounds for legal action. Take it from someone who had her run-arounds in these kinds of cases, from myself to others.

[rinky]

Honestly, when I got JP Platinum in January. I played that until English came out, and just today, 3 months later I want to play and he says no.

I want to play it really bad. I made up some bs like it's earth day, I'll go to jail forever if I dig up a tree.

He's unable to negotiate with.

[Lady Aquarii]

It's because he wants it his way. Just for the satisfaction that you'll do as he says. That's all it is. It's his mental situation so that he has power over you. It's him boosting his self image.

He's probably afraid of you over powering him and getting your way. It's child abuse, I'm dead serious.

Hell get someone to pick the lock it's 100% legal. It's your property, you have all legal right to take it back.

[rinky]

But it's in his house.

I'm not 18 yet.

[Lady Aquarii]

It's still grounds for legal action. 18 or not you still have rights. And all of them stand no matter your age.

[rinky]

I'm going to write about what I think..

I like the fact that you showed me about that legal action stuff.

I'll post back here to see how it went.

Response-

Bull shit it's illegal, I bought an xbox game with my credit card, therefore I bought the xbox some how.

I told him he needs to think about that answer

[Lady Aquarii]

Whoot~! Good job! Tell me how it goes :33

[rinky]

I told his friend that is up here from Florida.

He said he will talk to him.

If that doesn't work I got my friend to pick the lock:)

[Minamimoto]

Hmmm...this could become a problem.Whatever you do,don't try to ease it with drugs.Ignore his yelling,try to leave the house when he's drinking(hang out w/ friends?)and get some people to help you with the tree.If not,start digging the **** outta that tree.If its old,good luck. >.> Next,try to impress him.Do stuff you wouldn't normally do and hope that helps.Try not to play so much in front of him.Don't go all "teenager" on him and start annoying the heck out of him.Try to ease up and get better grades.If you have a cool head,it won't seem like such a problem.Next,do you have a GF? It's easier to have a girl to talk to. Good luck,and I hope this helped!

[rinky]

Yeah, My gf knows. I talk to her a lot about it, she says there is nothing that I can do but wait it out, but that's one persons opinion, that's why I came here.

whenever she is over we just hang out playing my sisters wii.

[HottSushiz]

Weird never knew someone would post something like that, anywho, try buying a box, and a lock, and get something he holds near, and dear, and lock it up, like if it was my friends dad, it would be the car keys, or the remote. (oh irony)

Yikes that's kinda harsh, my Brother was kinda sad to me at times when i was a kid, and when he smacked me, i would cry cause of the pain, and he would say stop crying, i didn't even hit you hard, it was weak to him, but hard to me, so few years later, i found out that there is an Anti-Smacking bill, so seriously if he hits me again, i will threaten him.

[pokemonfan]

Rinky, I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you have found your answers. You should talk to your mom in depth about what you have heard before you take courses of action. You do not want to not want to have your father ruin your relationship with your family because of his alchohol addiction. Talk to your mother about this and see what she thinks. Lady Aurarii seems very informed. I pity you Rinky and I agree Minamimoto, try to avoid him when he is drunk. It is best for your safety. Please do tell someone that can take action once you believe you have all your facts straight.

[Destati]

thats... not going to stop him Sushi. Just tell your parents : /

[Lady Aquarii]

thats... not going to stop him Sushi. Just tell your parents : /

She's right, taking something of his will only piss him off and trigger his anger more. Don't do it.

The best answer is to be as placid as possible. Act ignorant of the fact he has a hold over you. It worked with my parents, and always at one point they got so frustrated that they didn't get their way they'll ether knock down the deal/demands or try to negotiate.

When that happens, STILL don't give in. Hold on to not caring as long as possible. At one point they WILL break down. If you're lucky they'll learn something about what they did, but only if you're lucky.

If you get through that, and it happens again, or even if another indecent comes up, do the same. Indifference KILLS power-hungry people, and it'll drive him mad and make him think.

And about picking the lock, I hope you re-locked the box and hid the Xbox. The longer you hide it the most likely you are to avoid trouble and keep up the ruse it's still there. Plus, keep it quiet. Him hearing you blows all of your cover. That, and you can build up a history of how long you've had it behind his back.

Also, if you have the room, put the Xbox on it's side and put it under your bed. Don't put it in your closet. That's the FIRST place they look. Even better, if you have space, put it on the very top shelf of a bookcase. UP anywhere they rarely think to look. If you can, put it in a container, like a plastic storage bin with other things (clothes make it easier to cover, but parents constantly rummage through clothes for numerous reasons.), like toys. Magazines and any kind of paper stuffs is great. Just avoid school stuff because parents tend to look at it for random naogalista/hate reasons. Magazines are best, just make sure it's obviously not got any porn in it (they WILL check for it. I don't even have male siblings and I know) something like anime/TCG/whatever stuff is good to stash it in. Toy boxes are good too, but you have visibility problems, plus you can scratch it up.

The best bet is any place that has stuff you NEVER use and NEVER open. I have a cabinet in my bookcase that has archived shit from eons ago. whenever I had to hide something I put it there. That or I put it under my bottom dresser drawer (I bet a 360 won't fit though )

Ether way, keep it hidden, keep it quiet. I'd also play things like your DS out of his sight. Keep an ear on the hall/whatever's outside your room for footsteps, and try to familiarize yourself which sound is which person. Knowing they're coming is the best way to hide it and win a battle.

/ninja espionage skill FAQ

Try to be as placid with your father as possible. Don't let him let on to anything your doing. Keep him as much in the dark as you can. If you have to, do the same with your mom and your sister. I survived my puberty by keeping pretty much all of my actual activities from my whole family. Keep at it and you'll get good at it. You'll finally gain some piece of mind :3

[Okami]

I wish I would have gotten to this thread sooner.

Rinky, remember that no matter how bad the situation gets, your dad is still your father, and you have to obey his rules and respect him.

It does sounds like psychological abuse...you're treading shallow water here. Stay on your guard, be careful, and if it gets any worse, tell a teacher or school counselor or your principal. Those are the easiest options towards getting some help. Don't be afraid to get help, either.

[Zafur]

Just had to comment.

I agree with hiding things upwards, no one EVER looks up. Parents always check dressers though. I also think under the bed is a bit obvious. Try to keep it "hidden in plain sight". Something that stands right out won't be checked unless they really wanted to find something and were willing to rip up your whole room for it. If they were looking, they'd check more hidden places first and wouldn't think of checking something that looks so innocent. Don't make it TOO easy and obvious, though.

Also, if someone was acting like that to me, I wouldn't have enough respect for them to "obey" them. I'd be civil and all but... Anyways, it's probably best for you to act "submissive" but indifferent like Lady Aquarii said.

[Okami]

You and I were obviously raised under different standards, Zafur. I was brought up to always respect my parents, no matter what the situation. Obedience and submission were key in my upbringing.

[darklord]

It's mental abuse. That's exactly what it is. I've lived with it all my life and I can read it like a book.

There is no life lesson, he just wants to see you tortured. He knows for a damn well fact you can't dig it up on your own and he knows how far down it goes. I bet he checked. He wants you to do it so that you'll do exactly as he says to get to the Xbox. He finds pleasure in your subservience and your pain.

Don't do it. Don't dig up the tree, don't even ask about the tree. Pretend it doesn't exist. Just ignore the fact that you have an Xbox and it'll drive him insane. Not giving him what he wants will give him a taste of his own medicine.

Truthfully sweetie, not only does this man seem to be a technophobe, but a domineering asshole. It also seems that your sister is his favorite. It happens with EVERY parent. He's probably torturing you because your a male like him so he's using you as an outlet of what he thinks he deserves or what punishment he got from your grandfather (just a theory, it's a generational thing). The fact that your mother is subservient to your father proves this. He's probably ether violent or mentally aggressive over her.

Tell someone about it. This should not go on any longer. This is legally unallowed and punishable by court of law. I'm serious. Find a teacher or another adult you can trust wholly and get them to take action about this. Everything in this thread is solid grounds for legal action. Take it from someone who had her run-arounds in these kinds of cases, from myself to others.

this stuff never works would you look at your father and say **** you no it's like

the chain of screaming

if you yell up you diebut you don't want to yell at anyone so go into a dark room and try to come down all this rage is not good take it from me find a way to let it out without hurting anyone you care about. killing you self is not the answer nor drugs like 1 of my teachers said you act like like you are acted on (not right words)this reminds me of 1 day when i didn't do a math sheet that no one did in my class1 tiny sheet he took all of it away tv computer ds witch I paid for and almost all the games i have for it and this lasted for a month or so (he never realy said it was over so shhh)so do you think i yelled I paid for it you don't have the right to do that no you can never muster enough courage to do that and if you do you diehope it helps just try to calm down and it might work

[Lady Aquarii]

You and I were obviously raised under different standards, Zafur. I was brought up to always respect my parents, no matter what the situation. Obedience and submission were key in my upbringing.

I'll quote Gorge Carlin:

Obedience and respect should not be automatic, they should be earned. They should be based on the parents' performance.

The segment that came from is here.

As I've learned, just because they're your parents doesn't give them the right to treat you like cattle. They have to prove their right to guide you through life.

[darklord]

i have 2 ideas that may or may not work ok

#1 you said that your sister is close to your father then take something from her and hide it someplace seh will never look ex. under herbed then she will ask where is my blank to your dad or mom and when she is alone tell her and she will tell your dad then you bargain or say it's a life lesson to her

#2 fake (can't spell good)killing yourself pretend to like write a note that says that you have given up on life than when you leave the house say i'm off to the cn tower or empire state building or some other highbuilding then when you come back fake cry and when anyone asks what's wrong just wave your arm act like they could lose you they will notice that something is wrong thats when they will talk and thats when you tell them that you can't live without it and if he says ha then do it all again un till they get it