The Members card was released for the american games from 8/3/2009 to 9/13/2009.
clicky
So english should be alright. Honestly i never tried putting any of my pokegen'd pokes into trade negotiations. I wonder if it has different hack checks?
is he supposed to be th darkrai caught on new moon island in platinum? cause i dont think that wondercard events can be shiny. that might be your problem. or i migh be wrong. but thats all i see wrong with it.
salamence should be met at level 1 if he is hatched. and outrage is a gen 4 only move. so you need to either change outrage or make him poketransfered.
chandelure cant have a dream world ability. and his encounter needs to be egg/pal park/event/honey tree/shaymin.
tyranitar's origin game says platinum but you have him hatched in b/w. fire punch is gen 4 only, so he needs to either be poketransfered or lose it.
durant needs to be changed to egg/pal park/event/honey tree/shaymin.
maybe. if your using pokegen its easy enough to fix a fifth gen pid. just delete the existing pid and save the file with it still blank and pokegen will assign a valid pid for it. try that and see what happens.
metagross needs to be from (poketransfer) not the transfer lab.
scizor cant have superpower if hatched in b/w. its a gen 4 only move.
terrakion needs to be encounter type: egg/pal park/event/honey tree/shaymin
that was a quick glance.
seed bomb and sucker punch are gen 4 only moves on shiftry. so either make him transfered with no DW ability or drop the moves. if you keep the DW ability you need to change the extra bytes in pokegen to 01.
starmie says its from SS but hatched in BW. and its EV's are too high. only 510 total allowed.
i dont see anything wrong with ludicolo...
5th gen pokes cannot have dream world abbilities yet. they have not been released. and i dont think that garchomp has been released in the dream world yet either.
Here, Brave bird is better than Quick Attack. This should work.
EDIT: place met has to be set to Entree Forest. thats where all the event starters came from, and all have to be male, and gen V moves only(no egg moves for the starters)