Rushden and Diamonds- Rush to the Premiership

[SilentFox]

Conference Side Rushden and Diamonds Hire a Manger who wont even use his real name....

Press conference at 5

"Ugh ,now i have to actually go to work ...."

Oddly one of my assistants was there to pick me up but nothing was said... boring lad he is..

I felt sick,That's how I felt getting up .... that's actually how I still feel entering the office.

"Ah your the new manager good to see you I..."

"SilentFox sir" I said

"...yeah .... that" he told me to sit down that was the chairman of the club. He's a bit short on words and bumbles around but hes a fine boss.... as long as coffee doesn't spill on you.

" We expect a good showing this season, Now I know the preseason friendlies haven't gone your way but their against much more prestigious opponents don't get your trousers in a bunch too much lad"

"How you say ..... very cheeky?" I said as I didn't believe I was getting tense

"Um .... I was joking" said the chairman very bluntly.

"I'm sorry sir , I don't feel all that well" I said sheepishly.

"well off to see your squad" He said ... a bit awkwardly as he bangs his knee on the table.

"ok... see you"

"Yeah yeah...."

Before that ,I looked at the clock; IT WAS FIVE ....

So I ran down the hall just like a hare, I think I may of tripped someone and knocked over a few people but I got there in time.

Question Here for Ian Davies of the Rushden Sentinel: SilentFox, Where do you think Rushden and Diamonds will end up this season

SilentFox: Isn't that what you guys are for predictions. I only think about the fixture ahead,

one game at a time.

Micky Thomas here for the Morning Sun: Do you think that Matt Jones is still the unquestioned leader of the team?

SilentFox: Of Course I do, When the going got rough last season he pulled everyone together and you guys remember the 25 save game yes?

Jamey Ricard for Sky Sports: I hear you've been having problems getting transfers though why is that?

SilentFox: Nothing to be concerned about it's just some work permits that need to be approved.

"Is that all" I said

I found out that these press conferences take hours but I actually didn't mind Rushden is a conference side after all most of any criticism comes locally so I wont have too rough a go of it I hope.

From there I called the boys up for a Team meeting

Heres the Starting 11 boys

Jones-Captain-GK

Huckersby-RB

Mackin-CB

Checkenko-LB

Miles-RM

Patrick-CM

Gamble-CM

Prescott-LM

Jamey-CAM

Carlson-ST

Obeka-ST

Subs- Jenkins,Peterling,Eastly,Fornot,Bordon

No one argued .... I was surprised

Jones "jonesy" as his teammates called him wanted to speak to me though.

"Gaffer I want to tell you I won't let you down ... I heard you back there not bad for a savage"

".... Russians are not savages, Anyways I really hope so your 36 now not much time left comrade"

"Yeah I know, me and the boys are heading out .... this ok?"

"For now yeah .... We've done our training, I spoke, What else must I do, I'll let you guys go for now.

"For now? Where are you playing at" he said Confused

"Well Its my first day and I don't want to be so "communist" so go ahead before I change my mind "

"Want to come"

"I'll be designated driver" I said

Didn't want to tarnish my image by getting drunk you know.

I still don't understand england and the FA rules but I will in time only qualifications I had is having my UEFA Super License.

I'm not in russia anymore... am I .... "Cheers" .... I guess

</End Pilot>

[Neo]

lol Rushden and Diamonds. They will never make it into the premiership. I can guarantee that, Unless every other club in england turns useless for some reason, which i doubt will happen.

[Illithian]

Press conference at 5 (Where is this coming from?)

"Ugh, now I actually have to go to work..."

Oddly, one of my assistants was there to pick me up. But he stayed silent the entire time. Boring lad he is.

I felt sick. I always feel sick getting up, and actually, I usually still feel sick even at the office.

"Ah, your the new manager. Good to see you Mr..."

"SilentFox, sir," I said.

"...Yeah... that." He told me to sit down, and that he was the chairman of the club. He was a bit short on words and bumbles around but hes a fine boss... as long as coffee doesn't spill on you. (What?)

"We expect a good showing this season. Now I know the preseason friendlies haven't gone your way, but their against much more prestigious (Need a different word) opponents. Don't get your trousers in a bunch, lad." (Weird grammar, but idk how to fix it)

"How you say ..... very cheeky?" I said as I didn't believe I was getting tense

"Um .... I was joking" said the chairman very bluntly. (I'm completely lost at this point)

"I'm sorry sir , I don't feel all that well," I said sheepishly.

"Well, off to see your squad," He said, a bit awkwardly, as he banged his knee on the table.

"Okay... see you."

"Yeah yeah..."

I looked at the clock. It was five PM. I was late. I sprinted down the hall, possibly tripping someone and knocking over a few people but I got there in time.

"Question here for (For or from?) Ian Davies of the Rushden Sentinel: SilentFox, Where do you think Rushden and Diamonds will end up this season?" said the newscaster just as I was sitting down. (I added this part in. Made it look better)

SilentFox: "Isn't that what you guys are for, predictions? I only think about the fixture ahead, one game at a time." (I'm lost at what a fixture is)

"Micky Thomas here for (For or from?) the Morning Sun: Do you think that Matt Jones is still the unquestioned leader of the team?"

SilentFox: "Of course. When the going got rough last season, he pulled everyone together and you guys remember the 25 save game?"

"Jamey Ricard for Sky Sports: I hear you've been having problems getting transfers though. Why is that?"

SilentFox: "Nothing to be concerned about it's just some work permits that need to be approved."

"Is that all?" I said.

I found out that these press conferences take hours but I actually didn't mind. Rushden is a conference side after all; most criticism comes locally so I wont have too rough a go of it. I hope.

From there I called the boys up for a team meeting.

Heres the Starting 11 boys

Jones-Captain-GK

Huckersby-RB

Mackin-CB

Checkenko-LB

Miles-RM

Patrick-CM

Gamble-CM

Prescott-LM

Jamey-CAM

Carlson-ST

Obeka-ST

Subs- Jenkins,Peterling,Eastly,Fornot,Bordon (Aaaaah, this format has to be wrong but I have no idea how to fix it)

No one argued. I was surprised.

Jones "jonesy" as his teammates called him wanted to speak with me though. "Gaffer, I want to tell you I won't let you down... I heard you back there. Not bad for a savage."

"...Russians are not savages. Anyway, I really hope so; your 36 now, not much time left, comrade."

"Yeah I know, me and the boys are heading out... that ok?"

"For now, yeah... we've done our training, I did some talking, What else must I do? I'll let you guys go for now."

"For now? What are you playing at," he said, confused.

"Well Its my first day and I don't want to be so "communist," so go ahead before I change my mind."

"Want to come?"

"I'll be designated driver," I said. Didn't want to tarnish my image by getting drunk, you know.

I still don't understand England and the FA rules but I will in time. Only qualifications I had is having my UEFA Super License. I'm not in Russia anymore... am I...? "Cheers," ...I guess.

---

Wow, theres so many problems with that I gave up on bolding all the changes I made. Now the bolded parts are things that confused me, italicized parts are questions, and the rest is fixed. Anyway, you gotta learn how to write better. First of all you had about 80 million tense shifts, which is already a problem. I didn't understand the perspective of the story at all. Also, you have to learn to put in periods and commas. You don't write like you talk. You write so its clear. When talking, you can use all the slang you want, and in writing, you can convey that, but you still have to use all hte grammar. Else it doesn't make any sense at all.

For quotation, it has to end with a comma or an ending punctuation. Words preceeding it have to end with a comma. Ex:

I said, "I like cheese."

"I like cheese," I said.

"Do you like cheese?" I asked.

Separate paragraphs by a line break. No tabs in forum posts, so use a line break. Double return does the trick. This is a line break.

"Hi there!"

(THIS IS A LINE BREAK)

"Hello, how are you?" I responded to the overenthusiastic child.

Anyway, thats all for now. Good luck.

[HottSushiz]

Uhh don't mean to be rude, but what is this?

[Illithian]

Uhh don't mean to be rude, but what is this?

A fan fic, what else?

[SilentFox]

Thank you ... and I know they wont ... but if i use leeds .... i think everyone hates leeds so i end up using a little club from rushden ... ill update sometime later